the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
