I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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