so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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