you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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