The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
