i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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