im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My pussy is not your playground.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
