Whod you bang
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
