are you still at the devil's house?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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