You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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