he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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