Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
