come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
