He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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