Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
