dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Randomize
