when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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