I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
