After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
