my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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