So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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