This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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