Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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