But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
