Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
