Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
