apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
