Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I supernannyed him into submission
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
