I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
