remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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