He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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