Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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