It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
