yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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