Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
