why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
