It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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