we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
