There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She bit a glass in half.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
