I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
