I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
