Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
