I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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