I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
