it's great music for shaving your balls
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
