Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
