That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
