turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i think my cat just said my name.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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