You really coming over, don't trick.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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