i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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