Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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