herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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