i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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